Parenting is easily influenced by the
social and cultural practices in the environment where parents stay with their
children. It is, therefore, a constantly changing activity. Even then, the role
of parenting style in the psychopathy and development of the children cannot be
ignored (Shithya, Manohara, & Vijaya, 358). This essay compares the impact
of Western and Eastern parenting approaches to identify the one which promotes
the future success of children. The main argument is that when it comes to
parenting, the Asian
parents outperform the Americans (Chua 1). Here, the effectiveness of
parenting method depends on high level of strictness, which is unique to Asian
culture. The increasingly strict style of parenting is authoritative. It
requires high responsiveness and parents using this approach tend to exert high
demands on their children. On the positive side, authoritarian parents understand
and respond to the needs of their children (Shithya et al. 358). This style,
therefore, makes the Eastern parenting method better than any other styles
employed by the Western parents.
The highly strict parenting encourages
attainment of desirable academic goals
Shithya et al. reported that authoritarian mothers raise children with the
highest overall
adjustment and best academic achievements (379). The authoritative
parenting approach is similar to the Chinese style of parenting. As Chua
stated, children and even adults enjoy doing things that they are good at, but
children will not invest the required effort in perfecting themselves without
the intervention of parents (2). Parents are generally more knowledgeable and
understand what it takes to achieve the goals that they desire for their
children. Even if the Chinese parents’ involvement in their children’s lives
may at times interfere with the childhood preferences, it helps to maintain a
consistent focus on what is important to avoid interruptions or confusion. The
less strict parenting found in Western parenting system may, thus, expose
children to more difficulties in selection of academic goals and career paths.
Authoritative
parents avail the resources and support that children need to attain success
Huang,
Cheah, and Lamb stated that the Chinese parenting style effectively supports
the children to invest extra effort in what they do because they get the protection,
motivation, and support they need to achieve the established goals (808). Chua
discussed that when children start doing better in mathematics, playing piano or
bullet, the Chinese parents begin to praise them and even show them an
admiration which indicates satisfaction (2). This causes the children to
develop confidence and to start enjoying what they do. A child in such a
situation is more likely work harder to maintain the admiration and keep
getting praises from the parents. On the other hand, any parenting style less
than authoritative signifies a decline in parents’ involvement in their
children’s academic and extra-curricular activities. The lack of involvement
also means that parents do not know the resources which can make the children
perform better.
Children
Never Forget the Childhood Teachings Even as Adults
The
cultural beliefs and norms instilled in children through authoritative
parenting become a part of their lives no matter where they go. Moreover, they
get to value the cultural beliefs so much that they pass the practices to their
children. Chua said that getting the children on the right track may be very
difficult at first but unlike the Western parents who give up, Chinese mothers
do everything to ensure proper behavior in children. The outcome of these
efforts is a virtuous circle (2). Huang et al. found that although the Chinese mothers that immigrated to the United States scored
lower in authoritarian parenting scale compared to mothers in Taiwan, their
cultural beliefs and attitudes were unchanged (809). The authors indicated that
even in the United States, immigrant Chinese mothers still managed to encourage
obedience and the model of “good kids” (809). The lower authoritarian style in
Chinese immigrant mothers results from the alteration in parenting practices
due to the acculturation process. These are expected outcomes because immigrant
parents have to implement the child-rearing styles and methods practiced by the
dominant culture. However, the strength of authoritarian parenting still stands
strong against complete acculturation. Huang et al. indicated that whether
immigrant or not, the perception of parental warmth remained the same among
Chinese youth and parents. This clearly proves that Chinese mothers that
immigrate to the United Kingdom or the United States will not drift away from
their culture-specific parenting approaches. The Chinese cultural beliefs are
so strong that they resist the changes in the new environments that the parents
move in to. Contrarily, Chua noted that this virtuous circle is absent in the
Western society.
The very strict parenting method promotes
self-regulation
One of the vital points discussed by Chua
is the belief by Chinese parents that the children owe them everything (3). The
author associates this belief to filial piety of Confucianism and parents’
efforts in ensuring the children achieve their best performance. Huang et al.
explained that self-regulation
among children is a priority in Confucian societies (808). Also, the task
of ensuring that children invest significant effort in the tasks they have to
complete becomes a joint role of the parents, family members, the learning
institutions, and the whole society (809). This means that
Chinese children are taught to monitor and control their emotions, thoughts,
and manners in a way that the society considers acceptable.
The Confucian society members are
individuals that engage in loving relationships, promote wellbeing, and embrace
learning. Such cannot be found in Western societies where parents believe that
the children do not owe them anything, as they did not choose to be born. The
Chinese parenting style is very effective because what the parents’ demand from
the children is constant obedience and concentration on activities that make
the parents proud. The focus on self-regulation also encourages the upbringing
of very responsible society members. It is the reason Chinese parents are not
bothered by their young ones’ self-esteem (Chua 3). Chinese parents believe
that the children can achieve excellent grades (As) and, unlike the Western
parents, Chinese mothers do not have to keep reminding the children about their
capabilities.
Conclusion
An authoritative style of parenting works better that authoritarian or other approaches used by parents. This also shows that Chinese parents’ way of raising children cannot work in the Western societies due to the differences in cultural norms, beliefs, and practices. Still, it is important for parents to focus on the future wellbeing of their young ones and help them make useful decisions and choices. In other words, parents should not allow the dominant culture to dictate how they raise the children, but this is only possible if parents understand the needs of their children and identify what it takes to make the best out of them.